A Little Death

by Andrew Todd

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1.
Resolution, it’s time to win Absolution, forgiving your sin Execution, it’s time for a little death Evolution, it’s time to die Andalusian, blade in the eye Lilliputian, it’s time for a little death Time for a little death
2.
Skeleton 02:59
I am just a skeleton A mess of flesh and bone Waiting to die See how I waste away Memories decayed Waiting to die And when you get released There’s nothing underneath A calcifying, bleached and dying coral reef Skeleton, skeleton, skeleton, you can’t contain me Skeleton, skeleton, skeleton, you won’t restrain me You'll be the death of me, if I don't get there first Skeleton, skeleton There must be more than this Trapped in this bony prison With faulty vision Blood and shit and piss Waiting to die
3.
Sue / What were you thinking on all your yesterdays Sue / I see your bones but I can’t see your face I feel like I know you but I never will Cos you’re on display on top of the hill In a case of glass behind a velvet line Sue / you were the queen of the dinosaurs until you died Sue / All your dreams and desires fossilized Sue / Sue / Sue Sue / Can’t help my thinking that everything will die Sue / One day I’ll join you, my family, friends and I I feel like I know you and one day I will When we’re both on display on top of the hill In a case of glass behind a velvet line Sue / you were the queen of the dinosaurs until you died Sue / All your dreams and desires fossilized Sue / Sue / Sue You're just a skeleton, and so am I I know you see me, eye to eye Sue / you were the queen of the dinosaurs until you died Sue / All your dreams and desires fossilized Sue / Sue / Sue Sue / What will they think at tomorrow’s break of dawn Sue / Will I be put on display when I am gone
4.
Are you feeling sexy? Are you feeling hot? Cos we’re all feeling sexy And we don’t care if you’re not Are you feeling freaky? Feeling amorous? If you know what’s good for you You’ll fuck each one of us We’re all feeling so sexy Sex is nothing special Just something that we do A horny game we’re playing We want to play with you So open your horizons And open up your legs You might think you’re happy But we know we know best We're all feeling so sexy We’re all feeling so sexy You know you want it, yeah We got it, yeah You want it, come and get it from us We're all feeling so sexy
5.
You’re standing in your underwear The country wind is in your hair Under echoes of a stranger’s whip You clench your eyes and bite your lip And I know in this moment I wish I was that stranger man And I don’t really know Where anything is gonna go But I know right now that I want to make you mine You’re dancing by the fireside Chaotic eyes opened so wide Hoppin', jumpin', stamp your little feet Battered, bruised, but never beat And I know in this moment I want to let the chaos in And I don’t really know Where anything is gonna go But I know right now that I want to make you mine Yes I know right now that I'm gonna make you mine
6.
It’s a race, a race to be the first First place, strain until you burst Make haste, muscle through the pain It's a waste, run laps around the drain Running round in circles with your head cut off, you got fifteen seconds to live When you’re running off a cliff, even dying is competitive You want more, more life, more love But more, more, more, more is never enough Get up, catch the worm and kill the whale Don’t stop, you’ll be doomed to fail Destiny, you can’t outrun your fate Entropy, yeah hurry up and wait Running round in circles with your head cut off, you got fifteen seconds to live When you’re running off a cliff, even dying is competitive You want more, more life, more love But more, more, more, more is never enough More, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more Relax Take a break from what’s driving you What’s driving you so mad Take a break from what’s driving you Oh, you You’ll never be satisfied No matter how hard you try You’ll never be good enough But good enough is good enough for me Oh, you Relax Running round in circles with your head cut off, you got fifteen seconds to live When you’re running off a cliff, even dying is competitive You want more, more life, more love But more, more, more, more is never enough
7.
Trapped, beset by demons Trapped inside my head Such guilt and shame For what I’ve done and said Someday I’d say, I’ll finally feel alive Someday I’d say, when judgement day arrives Spiralling downward I finally found what I’m looking for Spiralling downward I finally found what I need She beheld the demons And held them to her heart She said “embrace the shame" “Get down, let down your guard” Someday, she’d say, you’ll reach for something new Someday, she’d say, she’ll be there reaching too Spiralling downward I finally found what I’m looking for Spiralling downward I finally found what I need Endorphins drained, there’s no tomorrow From highest heights, we’re dropping fast For a little death, Lady Macbeth will make you a monster Role of a lifetime, recast Spiralling downward I finally found what I’m looking for Spiralling downward I finally found what I need Spiralling downward I finally found what I’m looking for Spiralling downward I finally found what I need
8.
I had a dream / such a beautiful dream A simpler world, a perfect place to rule supreme I make a wish / a most humble wish A place of peace and quiet, a void in an abyss A final species A final shape An emptiness so pure, figure and landscape We have a goal / such an elegant goal Cut out the noise, cut out the life we can’t control We make a plan / a most cunning plan Pare down the weak, redundant, leaving only man The final species The final shape An emptiness so pure, figure and landscape I won’t atone Who’d even cast a stone Now we’re alone Together in the gloam The final species The final shape An emptiness so pure, figure and landscape Final species Final shape Emptiness so pure, figure and landscape
9.
The Best 03:00
I'm a ticking time bomb Primed and ready to blow A hundred thousand megatons And I’m not just for show I’m a long, thick shotgun Loaded up and cocked With one pull of my trigger Your whole world’s gonna be rocked I’m just better I’m better than the rest I’m just better In fact I am the best No one has my knowledge, My style, my taste, my skill My arms are deadly weapons And I know how to kill You think your guy’s so special? He’s smart and sweet and fun? I’m a legitimate genius! It’s a race I’ve already won I’m just better I’m better than the rest I’m just better In fact I am the best So sexy So manly So powerful So holy So perfect So wonderful I’m just better I’m better than the rest I’m just better In fact I am the best
10.
His eyes are oh so bright Taking in everything in sight Four years old and nearly seven months Future holding everything at once See how his little eyes widen As he gazes at the horizon Like the sun this son is rising up See how his little mouth's smiling All those hours and days he's whiling Not yet filled with pain, denial and woe, whoa He’s a picture of a boy Just a picture of a boy What happened to that boy? His eyes are oh so full of hope Only at the start of his rope Has no idea of what's to come Just wants to play around and run See how his little eyes widen As he gazes at the horizon Like the sun this son is rising up See how his little mouth's smiling All those hours and days he's whiling Not yet filled with pain, denial and woe Now he's grown up Getting blown up Sewn up again He's abused Confused Used up again He’s a picture of a boy A picture of a boy What happened to that boy? He's a hollow of a man A washed-up also-ran Take him back where he began His eyes are oh so bright Taking in everything in sight Four years old and nearly seven months Future holding everything at once
11.
Hurt You 03:52
You told me all the things that they did to you You hold me and say that’s what you want too Your deepest, your darkest, your diarist desires A shocking and sick surprise You wanted me to hurt you You wanted me to make you cry Your scream turned to a sigh You wanted me to hurt you You wanted me to break you down Turn your smile upside down I told you all the things I could do to you I sold you on the things that I wanted too My deepest, my darkest, my direst desires Stripped away from all the lies You wanted me to hurt you You wanted me to make you cry Your scream turned to a sigh You wanted me to hurt you You wanted me to treat you rough But I wasn’t quite enough The pain in your hide Controlled comfort inside But that was skin deep at most And there’s pain in my heart As we drift apart Your memory just a ghost You wanted me to hurt you You wanted me to make you cry Your scream turned to a sigh You wanted me to hurt you You wanted it but not for long Once lover, now you’re gone
12.
Oh no - it’s a meaningless chime Oh no - in the vastness of time Just one moment, feels just like a month, whoa One moment, when history hits you at once, whoa Closing time / yeah time is closing in Closing time / what was soon now is then Oh no - see the pendulum swing Oh no - three minutes / 200 seconds left to sing Just one moment, pre peri and post One moment, better make the most Closing time / yeah time is closing in Closing time / it’s the middle of the end (Mono no aware) Get dressed, get ready, take something for your head It’s gonna be a hell of a night You won’t know it’s over til its over Closing time / yeah time is closing in Closing time / everywhere everywhen (Mono no aware) Get dressed, get ready, take something for your head It’s gonna be a hell of a night You won’t know it’s over til its over (Mono no aware) You won’t know it’s over til its over You won’t know it’s over til its over If you don’t blow it, you won’t know it’s over til it’s over
13.
Marianas 02:53
Can't get no lower than the MARIANAS Loop round again, hate yourself Drift down again, dangerous health Sink low, so low, you’re cursed There’s always room to get worse You can’t get no lower than the MARIANAS Wasted again, unemployed Peek out again, paranoid Drink in, breathe deep, consume Given to giving in to gloom You can’t get no lower than the MARIANAS Can’t get no lower than the…? Can you go lower than the...? Pushing through straight to hell I wanna go back to the MARIANAS
14.
We’re in a world of warcrimes A world of warcrimes All warcrimes great and small A world where sinners Are crowned the winners The Lord God made them all See the sunrise in vermillion skies It’s a morning warning to heed See them commence with their dollars and cents Rising high on Great War machines And the dead shall serve as fuel for the fire that lights our way The fire that lights our way See the sunburn and the seven seas churn And animals blot out the sky See them continue rake in their revenue And laugh as they watch us all die And in the shadow of the valley, sheltered in the shade We shelter in the shade We’re in a world of warcrimes A world of warcrimes Of warcrimes then and now Crimes of the past Won’t be the last They're crimes that we allow See the sunset on unpayable debt To the husk that you’re destined to haunt See them drive back to the children they smack And they wish they drowned in the font And in the dark, there’s precious little hope, but we hold on We’re hanging on for life In a world of warcrimes A world of warcrimes A future left in doubt Your final breath A little death One last pleasure, one last shout It's time for a little death

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An album of synthpop songs about sex and death (mostly death), written over thirteen years and recorded over six months.

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released April 1, 2022

All music and lyrics by Andrew Todd.

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Andrew Todd New Zealand

The musical stylings of Christchurch writer and filmmaker Andrew Todd.

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